These First Steps
The first steps that we take in any task are often the most important; we will either set ourselves up for success or for failure. Our self-confidence grows as we accomplish small tasks that lead up to our larger goals, and we can become incredibly discouraged when we find ourselves stumbling over hurdles. It can be a very lonely road for the shy and introverted among us, and it can be embarrassing for those who proclaim their goals to the world. Sometimes just starting out is difficult, and we don't know where to begin, leading us to put off thinking about tomorrow and next month and next year. Then, when that day that we had set our goals for arrives, we find ourselves even more put off than we were to begin with, starting the cycle over again.
Now we're going to break that cycle. Granted, I can't make you any more than anyone else can. If you truly have no desire to do something, you aren't going to do it, no matter how much encouragement you get. Figuring out that the goal you had originally is not in fact something YOU wanted is just as important as finding out what it is that you DO want.
I had to sit and think for quite some time on what it is that I want -- the bucket list of things to do before I die. That was my approach towards the dream mapping technique described here: http://www.ztcollege.com/resources/CWHSFinal-DreamMapping.pdf (this resource was first found on the ZTCollege resources list). Here, the author asks two hypotheticals:
[1] What would you do if you couldn't fail?
[2] What would excite you the most to wake up to in the morning?
The author has a few tips for answering these questions. First, dream big. No one ever got anywhere by dreaming small and achieving what was obviously always within reach. Second, focus on production more than consumption. Creating is always more fun that just consuming, so write that book, organize that conference, build that airplane. Finally, do the things you truly want to do. It's okay to have self-oriented goals, and if you do decide that you will volunteer every week with Habitat for Humanity, do it because you want to, not because you feel as though you must save the world.
This is the first part of this Self-Design. You are fashioning a new self for you, someone that is inherently reflective of yourself, someone who is you and also who you aspire to be. This is your life we're talking about, decisions that could affect you for years and years to come. So dream, and dream big. What are your goals?
The author suggests three to five goals; I couldn't do it. I have a whole lifetime's worth of goals, and I can't pare it down to four or five. I ended up with sixteen on my list; you should have as many as you feel are core to your well-being. I titled mine "What will I do before I die?" You can do it physically if you'd like -- I certainly love having hard copies of things. But there are also a great number of mindmapping programs and websites that accomplish the same task. In order to share my lists with you, I used http://mind42.com.
Now we're going to break that cycle. Granted, I can't make you any more than anyone else can. If you truly have no desire to do something, you aren't going to do it, no matter how much encouragement you get. Figuring out that the goal you had originally is not in fact something YOU wanted is just as important as finding out what it is that you DO want.
I had to sit and think for quite some time on what it is that I want -- the bucket list of things to do before I die. That was my approach towards the dream mapping technique described here: http://www.ztcollege.com/resources/CWHSFinal-DreamMapping.pdf (this resource was first found on the ZTCollege resources list). Here, the author asks two hypotheticals:
[1] What would you do if you couldn't fail?
[2] What would excite you the most to wake up to in the morning?
The author has a few tips for answering these questions. First, dream big. No one ever got anywhere by dreaming small and achieving what was obviously always within reach. Second, focus on production more than consumption. Creating is always more fun that just consuming, so write that book, organize that conference, build that airplane. Finally, do the things you truly want to do. It's okay to have self-oriented goals, and if you do decide that you will volunteer every week with Habitat for Humanity, do it because you want to, not because you feel as though you must save the world.
This is the first part of this Self-Design. You are fashioning a new self for you, someone that is inherently reflective of yourself, someone who is you and also who you aspire to be. This is your life we're talking about, decisions that could affect you for years and years to come. So dream, and dream big. What are your goals?
The author suggests three to five goals; I couldn't do it. I have a whole lifetime's worth of goals, and I can't pare it down to four or five. I ended up with sixteen on my list; you should have as many as you feel are core to your well-being. I titled mine "What will I do before I die?" You can do it physically if you'd like -- I certainly love having hard copies of things. But there are also a great number of mindmapping programs and websites that accomplish the same task. In order to share my lists with you, I used http://mind42.com.
Another thing the author suggests is to use VAK (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic) language. Big ideas like "Become a famous actress" (called cerebral dreams) should be broken down into something more concrete, like "perform in three films". It may be difficult to list them out this way when all the tiny steps don't seem to equal the glamorous idea in your head, but they do give you handholds onto this giant dream, helping you reach the top little by little.
Now that you've got all your big goals for life set out, you should break them down and organize them. It is, after all, impractical to be working towards all of your goals at once; you will become frustrated with the apparent slow progress and end up dropping everything. Instead, pick a few that are meaningful to you right now, ones that are directly relevant to your current situation and near-future prospects/goals. For me, that number was five. I was tempted to throw another one or two in there, but I wanted to keep it simple.
Once you have these few, it's time to think about how you will go about accomplishing these goals. Be specific, as specific as possible. You can zoom in on the picture below detailing my five goals, but if it is difficult to read, I chose writing a novel, learning to draw, reading 50 classic novels, learning math and physics, and teaching writing as my five near future goals to begin working on now. For every goal, I tried to identify at least five smaller steps to help me achieve my goal.
Example: Write a novel
---> NaNoWriMo ---> local NaNo group
---> college course on novel writing ---> find a professor to sponsor me
---> join a peer critique community ---> Authonomy; Scribophile
---> join a local writing group ---> Meetup.com
---> cultivate a daily writing habit
---> enter writing contests ---> Scribophile; Writer's Digest; local literary magazine
All of these are steps that provide concrete "next actions" towards achieving my goal of writing a novel. Try to identify people, groups, companies, internships, opportunities, websites, and programs that might be of use to you in any way. Want to travel but on a budget? Try Couchsurfing.com for a place to stay when you're doing a quick drop in. Looking to brush up on your biology but don't want to pay for a college class? Try MIT's Open Courseware Scholars biology course (Scholars courses are ones that are exceptionally well-put together) or Saylor.org's biology course, or both; and supplement your knowledge with current trends in the field from TedX talks. The more resources you identify and give yourself to follow up on, the more flexibility you will have when tackling the goal.
Now that you've got all your big goals for life set out, you should break them down and organize them. It is, after all, impractical to be working towards all of your goals at once; you will become frustrated with the apparent slow progress and end up dropping everything. Instead, pick a few that are meaningful to you right now, ones that are directly relevant to your current situation and near-future prospects/goals. For me, that number was five. I was tempted to throw another one or two in there, but I wanted to keep it simple.
Once you have these few, it's time to think about how you will go about accomplishing these goals. Be specific, as specific as possible. You can zoom in on the picture below detailing my five goals, but if it is difficult to read, I chose writing a novel, learning to draw, reading 50 classic novels, learning math and physics, and teaching writing as my five near future goals to begin working on now. For every goal, I tried to identify at least five smaller steps to help me achieve my goal.
Example: Write a novel
---> NaNoWriMo ---> local NaNo group
---> college course on novel writing ---> find a professor to sponsor me
---> join a peer critique community ---> Authonomy; Scribophile
---> join a local writing group ---> Meetup.com
---> cultivate a daily writing habit
---> enter writing contests ---> Scribophile; Writer's Digest; local literary magazine
All of these are steps that provide concrete "next actions" towards achieving my goal of writing a novel. Try to identify people, groups, companies, internships, opportunities, websites, and programs that might be of use to you in any way. Want to travel but on a budget? Try Couchsurfing.com for a place to stay when you're doing a quick drop in. Looking to brush up on your biology but don't want to pay for a college class? Try MIT's Open Courseware Scholars biology course (Scholars courses are ones that are exceptionally well-put together) or Saylor.org's biology course, or both; and supplement your knowledge with current trends in the field from TedX talks. The more resources you identify and give yourself to follow up on, the more flexibility you will have when tackling the goal.
So what about all the rest of those dreams you've identified? You have the few that you have decided to work towards now. I then chose to organize the rest of mine into a five, ten, and "other" year period. This is something that you need to do based on your life circumstances and situation. My five years may need to be your ten years, and my ten years may need to be your twenty. Part of this has to do with age, with money, with family, with educational and employment responsibilities. Only you can determine how to break down the rest of your goals.
For my five years, I chose three goals that I know require either lots of time, money, or organization, or a combo of all three. Since five years does go by faster than we expect, I would suggest you identify at least the first step or two in achieving each of these goals. In my picture provided below, I have not yet done so, but it is high on my priority list.
For my five years, I chose three goals that I know require either lots of time, money, or organization, or a combo of all three. Since five years does go by faster than we expect, I would suggest you identify at least the first step or two in achieving each of these goals. In my picture provided below, I have not yet done so, but it is high on my priority list.
For my ten years, I chose five goals that, again, require either lots of time, money, or organization. Some, like building my own computer, is on the ten year list because, while it is something I plan to do, it is still fairly low on my priority list. I decided not to expand these just yet, but upon review in 6 months or a year, I will most likely do so if I feel they are still pertinent.
As for everything else, they fall into my "Other" category, I have raise sheep, open a bookstore/coffee shop, and adopt a child left. These are all things that are important, but they are BIG BIG goals that will require years of work and saving up money. I do not envision doing any of these things within the next ten years.
It is important to review your goals, and the steps you've identified towards them, on a regular basis. I look at my Now goals every two weeks, looking to see if I can expand anywhere and include more resources. For all the rest, I like to look at them every six months or so. My life and future prospects are constantly changing, and I want to make sure that my goals are still reflective of things I really want.
So what happens if your Now goals keep changing? Or keep growing? That's okay. You're discovering you, and changes are a big part of that. If you're adding new items to the Now map, you have to keep in mind that you can only work on so many things before feeling completely overwhelmed. It might be in your best interest to break down your Nows even further -- weekly, monthly, three months, six months, one year. However you find your interests evolving will dictate how you need to reorganize. Of course, the big kind of goals we were mapping out above cannot generally be accomplished in a week, often not even in a month. But if you are identifying many smaller goals -- i.e. become familiar with local flora and fauna, take a cartography class, volunteer at a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving -- then this is the method for you.
I am all for identifying those big dreams and working on the steps it takes to reach each, but the reality is I need to be working on many things at once, and they don't always need to be big things. For example, my personal monthly goals include creating tie blankets for Christmas presents and save up $100 for my wedding reception. My specific weekly goals include making iced Christmas cookies for a friend, rearranging my bedroom, and keeping up with my daily word count goals (as part of NaNoWriMo). Some of you may feel that these are things that belong more in planners or written in expo markers on your refrigerator, and that's okay too. For others of you that are afraid of getting boxed in my three or four or five things, this might be what you need. BUT don't neglect all the little steps necessary for your Now goals either. Balancing the two will be one of your biggest challenges.
So what next? That depends on whether or not you micromanage your time. I am personally the kind of gal who will work everything out into a daily schedule and then throw that schedule away once I begin. Sometimes this is okay since I focus on a couple of things and get further than I planned, leaving the next day to focus more intensely on the things I threw out before. It's when I find myself constantly putting off a particular activity or activities associated with a goal that I have to ask myself, what's actually going on? Why am I procrastinating? Is it because I don't actually want to meet this goal?
You may, like me, find that one or two of your goals are not so much things you want to do as thing you feel you either should or need to do. For example, I don't really want to learn math and physics, but in order to potentially work in meteorology one day, I definitely need to. I will often procrastinate that work until it builds up and becomes too much for me to handle, then I throw my hands up in discouragement and walk away. That, obviously, is not the way you should go. You may be working towards a goal that you need to do (and be sure that, if you have one of these on there, it leads to a larger, more exciting goal that you are pursuing), and not particularly like it. So remind yourself every day why you're doing it. I have a particular notebook I do all my math notes and work in, and I've covered the front with pictures of severe weather phenomena and weather tech, just to mentally jog my gears and remind me where I am trying to go, what all of my painstaking work now will earn me later on.
If you've created a schedule for yourself, you need to have some incentive to stay on schedule. I know many people proclaim that self-motivation will see you through, but the fact is, it doesn't always. If you're one of those who can truck on through because you've either been doing this for a long time and have made it a habit or you are just fortunate to have that motivation built into you, then creating and sticking to a schedule/plan is probably easier for you. For the rest of us, here are some tips I've picked up.
From the NaNoWriMo site, the one that sponsors the month of November as National Novel Writing Month and asks participants to write a 50,000 word novel in a month (getting your first draft out, even if it's craptastic, is better than it never coming out at all!) says that you should hold yourself accountable. Proclaim what you're doing to your family and friends. Blog about it if you have a following. Tell your significant other what your goals are and how important it is that you stick to them. That way, you have the pressure surrounding you to walk the talk. You can also give yourself small rewards for meeting certain stepping stones -- maybe a new box of tea, a coffee mug you've really been wanting, that new book you've been eyeing. These come in handy when you're really struggling and need an extra boost. I would suggest keeping a corkboard or posterboard full of pictures that represent each of your goals. When you need inspiration, take a break and look at it; see your dreams represented, the ultimate rewards. As for incentive to just stay on schedule, break it into weeks. If you complete all the tasks you've scheduled for yourself at the end of the week, give yourself a reward -- the book, a day in the park, whatever appeals to you. And they do have to be appealing rewards; otherwise, this is a pointless exercise. Eventually, you will no longer need the rewards as the fruits of your work become apparent and you put yourself into that daily habit of completing what you set out to do.
And if you fall off schedule drastically? Re-do your planner and keep going. It is important to be flexible as life has a peculiar tendency to throw all sorts of unexpected things our way. Don't put yourself down, even if you have no reason, because the further you fall the harder it is to climb back up. Accept that things didn't work out the way you planned, and try to identify why. Because you're not interested in the task? Because you're not really sure why you're doing it? Because your attention span wants to move on to other things? One of the most important things that I can stress is to figure out what causes the breakdown in your plan. Often it is plain old self-discipline, and that's a tough nut to crack, but there is usually some underlying factor behind the lapse in self-discipline. Make sure what you're doing is what you want to be doing.
The rest of it has to do with what kind of person you are. Some people find it beneficial to create a daily schedule with specific activities reserved for specific times. Others just know that they want to do X and Y today, and they'll figure out how to accomplish their tasks as they go along. Setting daily and weekly goals in the case of getting particular activities done is beneficial in keeping you on track towards you larger goals. Remember, one baby step at a time.
And now, I invite you to share your goals, your process, your schedules with me and everyone here. I will create a special page once I start hearing from you to share your hopes and goals for the present and future with others like yourself. Email me at [email protected] with text and/or pictures. You can include a link to a Youtube site, a blog, a personal website, or anything else. Along with that, please give me a name that you would like to go by, a personal site/blog (if you have one), an email (if you'd like for people to contact you for encouragement and ideas), and anything else you'd like me to share.
It is important to review your goals, and the steps you've identified towards them, on a regular basis. I look at my Now goals every two weeks, looking to see if I can expand anywhere and include more resources. For all the rest, I like to look at them every six months or so. My life and future prospects are constantly changing, and I want to make sure that my goals are still reflective of things I really want.
So what happens if your Now goals keep changing? Or keep growing? That's okay. You're discovering you, and changes are a big part of that. If you're adding new items to the Now map, you have to keep in mind that you can only work on so many things before feeling completely overwhelmed. It might be in your best interest to break down your Nows even further -- weekly, monthly, three months, six months, one year. However you find your interests evolving will dictate how you need to reorganize. Of course, the big kind of goals we were mapping out above cannot generally be accomplished in a week, often not even in a month. But if you are identifying many smaller goals -- i.e. become familiar with local flora and fauna, take a cartography class, volunteer at a homeless shelter for Thanksgiving -- then this is the method for you.
I am all for identifying those big dreams and working on the steps it takes to reach each, but the reality is I need to be working on many things at once, and they don't always need to be big things. For example, my personal monthly goals include creating tie blankets for Christmas presents and save up $100 for my wedding reception. My specific weekly goals include making iced Christmas cookies for a friend, rearranging my bedroom, and keeping up with my daily word count goals (as part of NaNoWriMo). Some of you may feel that these are things that belong more in planners or written in expo markers on your refrigerator, and that's okay too. For others of you that are afraid of getting boxed in my three or four or five things, this might be what you need. BUT don't neglect all the little steps necessary for your Now goals either. Balancing the two will be one of your biggest challenges.
So what next? That depends on whether or not you micromanage your time. I am personally the kind of gal who will work everything out into a daily schedule and then throw that schedule away once I begin. Sometimes this is okay since I focus on a couple of things and get further than I planned, leaving the next day to focus more intensely on the things I threw out before. It's when I find myself constantly putting off a particular activity or activities associated with a goal that I have to ask myself, what's actually going on? Why am I procrastinating? Is it because I don't actually want to meet this goal?
You may, like me, find that one or two of your goals are not so much things you want to do as thing you feel you either should or need to do. For example, I don't really want to learn math and physics, but in order to potentially work in meteorology one day, I definitely need to. I will often procrastinate that work until it builds up and becomes too much for me to handle, then I throw my hands up in discouragement and walk away. That, obviously, is not the way you should go. You may be working towards a goal that you need to do (and be sure that, if you have one of these on there, it leads to a larger, more exciting goal that you are pursuing), and not particularly like it. So remind yourself every day why you're doing it. I have a particular notebook I do all my math notes and work in, and I've covered the front with pictures of severe weather phenomena and weather tech, just to mentally jog my gears and remind me where I am trying to go, what all of my painstaking work now will earn me later on.
If you've created a schedule for yourself, you need to have some incentive to stay on schedule. I know many people proclaim that self-motivation will see you through, but the fact is, it doesn't always. If you're one of those who can truck on through because you've either been doing this for a long time and have made it a habit or you are just fortunate to have that motivation built into you, then creating and sticking to a schedule/plan is probably easier for you. For the rest of us, here are some tips I've picked up.
From the NaNoWriMo site, the one that sponsors the month of November as National Novel Writing Month and asks participants to write a 50,000 word novel in a month (getting your first draft out, even if it's craptastic, is better than it never coming out at all!) says that you should hold yourself accountable. Proclaim what you're doing to your family and friends. Blog about it if you have a following. Tell your significant other what your goals are and how important it is that you stick to them. That way, you have the pressure surrounding you to walk the talk. You can also give yourself small rewards for meeting certain stepping stones -- maybe a new box of tea, a coffee mug you've really been wanting, that new book you've been eyeing. These come in handy when you're really struggling and need an extra boost. I would suggest keeping a corkboard or posterboard full of pictures that represent each of your goals. When you need inspiration, take a break and look at it; see your dreams represented, the ultimate rewards. As for incentive to just stay on schedule, break it into weeks. If you complete all the tasks you've scheduled for yourself at the end of the week, give yourself a reward -- the book, a day in the park, whatever appeals to you. And they do have to be appealing rewards; otherwise, this is a pointless exercise. Eventually, you will no longer need the rewards as the fruits of your work become apparent and you put yourself into that daily habit of completing what you set out to do.
And if you fall off schedule drastically? Re-do your planner and keep going. It is important to be flexible as life has a peculiar tendency to throw all sorts of unexpected things our way. Don't put yourself down, even if you have no reason, because the further you fall the harder it is to climb back up. Accept that things didn't work out the way you planned, and try to identify why. Because you're not interested in the task? Because you're not really sure why you're doing it? Because your attention span wants to move on to other things? One of the most important things that I can stress is to figure out what causes the breakdown in your plan. Often it is plain old self-discipline, and that's a tough nut to crack, but there is usually some underlying factor behind the lapse in self-discipline. Make sure what you're doing is what you want to be doing.
The rest of it has to do with what kind of person you are. Some people find it beneficial to create a daily schedule with specific activities reserved for specific times. Others just know that they want to do X and Y today, and they'll figure out how to accomplish their tasks as they go along. Setting daily and weekly goals in the case of getting particular activities done is beneficial in keeping you on track towards you larger goals. Remember, one baby step at a time.
And now, I invite you to share your goals, your process, your schedules with me and everyone here. I will create a special page once I start hearing from you to share your hopes and goals for the present and future with others like yourself. Email me at [email protected] with text and/or pictures. You can include a link to a Youtube site, a blog, a personal website, or anything else. Along with that, please give me a name that you would like to go by, a personal site/blog (if you have one), an email (if you'd like for people to contact you for encouragement and ideas), and anything else you'd like me to share.